Reflection on the Year
I have officially hit one year since I have entered the MTC. This week I evaluated my year and what kind of strengths I have developed this year. I fear looking back on my two years seeing that I wasted my potential. After my six years in cross-country as a runner, my coach told me that I did not reach my potential or give my full effort. At first I was furious. I dedicated six years to this sport. I led the cross country team and made some of the large improvements. I thought to myself, "How could he say that? I have sacrificed so much and he still said that I wasted my potential." It took me a while to accept what he had told me. While I did put my full effort into some parts of running, I realized that I did not put the effort into every single part. I was careless with my sleep, my diet, and I never took the time to self evaluate. I do not want my mission to end like my cross country career. I do not just want to settle with standard, average improvement. I want to hit my potential that God has set for me.
Looking back on my year so far and reviewing my journal, I have discovered different areas of improvement: My desire for feedback, capability to be vulnerable, capacity to undergo stress, teaching skills, the fluency of my Tagalog, leadership qualities, understanding of the Gospel and Atonement of Jesus Christ, ability to receive and act on revelation, knowledge in the scriptures, social skills, rice eating abilities, using the bathroom without tissue paper, cooking, and many others.
I see the change that God has given me because of my dedicated service, however in each of those categories I did not yet hit my capacity. One of the favorite phrases that I took from General Conference was the talk about Divine Discontent. I never want to be content with my progress. While we are on this earth we are never perfect which means we can always evaluate and learn from our past. I am not satisfied if I do not hit my divine potential given to me by my Heavenly Father.
This week I was strongly hit by the scripture verse in 1 Nephi 17:50:
"And I said unto them: If God had commanded me to do all things I could do them. If he should command me that I should say unto this water, be thou earth, it should be earth; and if I should say it, it would be done."
Our area has not been progressing as much since Elder Faulkner has left and I know it is due to my incompetency. My effort is here, so I know that as I add effort to my potential, it will create competency. As I add effort to my competency, the success will follow. From this scripture I realized that God has commanded me to hit the standards of excellence in each category. If God commands me to help three people enter into the waters of baptism every month, it will happen. This is not my work. This is God's work and we are just the instruments. This area will be hitting the standard of excellence in every category in the next month because that is what God has commanded, and I feel my faith, skills, and obedience reaching the sufficient level to do so.
Elder Quilloy and I set a goal to work on short transitions and companionship unity while teaching. The amazing thing is that we saw a huge improvement this week. I know this is due to Elder Quilloy and his desire to change. When he puts his mind to something, it is accomplished. Every day we grow closer together as we unite our goals and dreams for this area. I have much to learn from Elder Quilloy.
One highlight of the week also was when we met this French guy, Jean Marc. He has a supppper thick French accent and it just made me want to eat chicken Alfredo fettuccine and watch Beauty and the Beast. He spoke in the funniest mix of English, French, and Tagalog. Plus he spoke with his entire body. I wish I could have recorded this conversation. To be honest, after we left I could not help from singing "Be Our Guest." ..... whoa I just realized I have gone an entire year without watching a movie, tv show, social media, and normal music... the sacrifices for God are so worth it.
So grateful for this past year. All the experiences, memories and growth has made it worth it. Hopefully I can continue this for the next year! Thank you for your constant support and prayers. Love you all :)
-Elder Cadayong
Elder Cadayong, Vannie (cousin), Albert Cadayong, Elder Quiloy, Aunt Nice, Van Damme (cousin)
Comments
Post a Comment